Facing Failure
by MaryandMerlin
Summary: When Remus learned the truth, he was determined not to fail anyone again. One-Shot.


**Prompts**

 **QLFC - Round 7 -** Scream 4 - (quote) It's the honest ones you have to watch out for - Pirates of the Caribbean; (genre) Angst

 **Word Count:** 1,736

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Facing Failure

Remus ran. If he dared to close his eyes, he knew he would see Peter Pettigrew written in spiky black ink, quickly followed by Harry, Ron and Hermione. Peter Pettigrew was chased by Sirius Black.

It made no sense, and yet, as Remus raced down a flight of stairs, out of the Great Hall and onto the Hogwarts grounds where dusk already hinted at twilight overhead, it made perfect sense. Peter had been another casualty of the war, someone that Remus had remembered with painful regret. They had always gotten on well, Remus constantly grateful to the smaller boy for the way he would help during the full moons. When people had spoken of Peter to him, other classmates paying their respects in hushed whispers and sideways glances, they had remembered someone who paled against James' charisma or Sirius' legacy.

All Remus could think of when he remembered Peter was a young man who was full of surprises. He had known how to put on an innocent act, repeatedly lessening whatever detention sentence one of them had earned. He wasn't as good looking as the rest of them had been, but he was the first of them to ever kiss a girl, the first one to get roped into a game of strip poker which he'd then proceeded to win with laughable ease.

Remus had always known that Peter was a good liar, almost as good as he was.

Bile rose in his throat and Remus swallowed. He was surefooted as he sprinted across the lawns of the castle, towards the Whomping Willow.

He had not been on this side of the grounds for the whole year he'd been teaching. He hadn't even gone into Hogsmeade for fear of what ghosts would greet him as he walked along the high street, the Shrieking Shack looming overhead on top of the hill.

X

 _"What did they call it before you went there?" Sirius wondered aloud, tapping a rhythm on the table to emphasise just how bored he was._

 _Remus kept reading for a moment, hoping that Sirius would scrape his chair back and leave him to his studying. James had no doubt sent him, concerned that Remus was nose-diving into another black mood. It was happening more and more frequently as their sixth year progressed. All everyone seemed to do was talk about the future, which only reinforced for Remus how little of a future he had waiting for him._

 _"Rem? Rem? Rem? Moony, I'm going to keep annoying you until you talk to me. I know you're reading just for fun as well, so you can sod off if you imply it's for actual work."_

 _Sirius tore a small piece of parchment and threw a paper ball at Remus, who glared back at him. His best friend was grinning, clearly hoping for some sort of reaction. That was enough of an incentive for Remus to exhale, count to ten in his mind and regain his composure._

 _"They called it the Shrieking Shack. Apparently, it was full of some ghouls or ghosts, and they had to be removed by the previous Defence teacher before I got here."_

 _"Huh, that Professor must have actually been competent then. I wonder what that was like. That's weird though because Moony doesn't sound like a ghoul or ghost. He sounds like freedom."_

 _"Shut up, Sirius. I know you think getting into poetry will help you seem intelligent, but it just makes you sound like a prick," Remus muttered, flushing uncomfortably._

 _"Your remarks sting, Remus. They sting like wasps attacking my very heart."_

 _Sirius cackled as Remus glowered at him, grabbing the piece of paper and lobbing it back at his friend._

 _"Mr Black! Mr Lupin! I will have silence in this library and absolutely none of your shenanigans!" Madam Pince called loudly._

 _Sirius just continued to laugh, unbothered by the consequences._

X

The Willow froze in place, one branch raised to deliver what would have been a very nasty blow. Remus had lost count of how many times he and Madam Pomfrey had had to duck to avoid being lashed or whipped. Even with Peter's ability to sneak under the branches and freeze it, it still got James fairly often. He and Sirius used to make a game to see who could survive the longest before ducking back out of harm's way.

Shaking his head, Remus forced himself to crouch down, prodding the knot in the willow tree and going through the gap into the tree. He cast a silent _Lumos_ , then _Muffliato_ on his feet. Peter had always been good at pretending to be honest. When Remus had found out what happened he had refused to believe it. Sirius had always hated his family, had always done everything to protect his friends.

Sirius being dark; being a mole this whole time? He hated his family, he hated everything that Voldemort and the Death Eaters had stood for. Peter standing up to him seemed just as unlikely. Peter knew his strengths and weaknesses — he would have never gone against Sirius in a duel. He would have gone to Dumbledore or the Ministry. He would have been concerned that Sirius was coming to hunt him. He would have hidden.

The thought played over in Remus' mind as he followed the scuff marks that had disturbed the thick layer of dust on the floor. The passage to the Shrieking Shack evened out eventually, hard-packed earth shifting to stone underfoot, and then he came to the trap door. For what felt like an eternity, Remus stood there, frozen. Harry needed him. Remus had failed Harry so many times before. Remus had failed Sirius too — could he have saved him from the lure of the Dark? Or were his worst suspicions correct, and Azkaban had imprisoned an innocent man?

He needed answers. He needed to go into the Shack, and yet he hadn't been there for so long.

He could still smell the sweat, fear and pain in the air after a transformation. Remus shuddered as his skin itched, hinting at the transformation he would undergo tonight. Then he pulled himself together and went inside the Shrieking Shack. Immediately on his left, there were claw marks carved into the wall, everywhere his eyes went, as he searched for signs of life brought back more and more memories.

Remus couldn't truly achieve blackout drunkenness, although he had tried. He had also gone through a period of self-medicating which the wolf inside him had not appreciated. Those full moons had been particularly painful. He tried to soften the harsh blows of reality so many times over the years. Now, going silently up the stairs in the one place Remus had said he would never return, all he could do was remember.

X

 _The patrons of the pub subconsciously avoided the far back corner thanks to the wards Remus had constructed around their table. He was sat in silence, a dark glass of bitter in front of him when Peter arrived, wearing a heavy cloak still damp from the rain outside._

" _Remus," Peter said, his voice slightly trembling. It must have been cold outside. Remus hadn't noticed._

" _Hey Peter, so good to see you mate. I'm only in the U.K. for a few days, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to meet up with people."_

" _Yeah… yeah. Do you want another drink? I'll go and get something."_

 _Remus shook his head and Peter went over to the bar, craning his head and waiting a while before he got noticed and served. When he came back, he was holding two packets of crisps and half a pint of shandy in his hands._

" _I thought you might be hungry," Peter said. Remus didn't bother acting polite; he was starving and grabbed the cheese and onion crisps with enthusiasm. Peter sat down slowly across from him, not taking his eyes off Remus who opened the bag and ate most of it in quick succession._

" _How are things?" he prompted. Remus talked for a while, about the trip he'd taken through Austria. Eventually, his glass was empty, as were both crisps packets, whilst Peter had barely taken a sip._

" _I'm just exhausted, mate. But it's good work, what I'm doing. I thought for a while I wasn't making a difference but with what's happening right now I think… I think I'm actually helping and that makes it all worth it?"_

" _Happening right now? You mean in… in…" Peter stammered slightly, his cheeks going pink and Remus thought he'd help his anxious friend out._

" _In Shrewsbury. There's a pack of extremely well-known werewolves who have gathered in protest of what You-Know-Who is saying about werewolves. I'm going to help them get out the country and the influence they will have on others, how they can help bring werewolves away from the Dark is going to be incredible. It's going to make such a huge impact."_

 _Peter had been so interested and Remus, who had just come from a full moon and hadn't slept in four days, had been more than happy to talk to his old friend. He had thought they were exchanging war stories and when Peter had gone to leave, Remus had pulled him into a hug._

X

The Shrewsbury Werewolf massacre had left no survivors and had been the day after Remus had met with Peter. He had been so devastated and had had to leave the country soon after to go back to Europe. But with the benefit of hindsight, Remus felt his blood run cold.

No one else had known what Remus was in the country to do.

Next to no one had known about the werewolves, either.

Peter had betrayed him. Peter had betrayed them all, and Peter was in a room with Sirius and three children, one of them James' son.

Everything clicked into place and Remus took the stairs two at a time. There was a chair with bite marks in it, claw marks all over the floorboards, but for once, he was not focused on that. His past still haunted him. It felt like it breathed, was alive within these walls but that did not matter.

He got to the door, raising his wand in preparation. He refused to fail Harry or the others. He refused to turn his back on Sirius once again. Steeling himself, Remus burst through the door, ready to bring Peter to justice.

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 **Much love, MaryandMerlin x**


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